For the past month, I have been very earnestly and diliberately preparing for marriage. Ever since I was thirteen years old, I have known that my single years were to be used for this preparation, but never have I been so diligent about it as I am now. A few weeks ago, I felt this sense of urgency to ready myself and become better equipped for the man to whom God will give me. I am now walking a path that tests my faith daily. Difficulties arise without warning, fear tries to grab me, doubt wants to get in, and temptation lies in wait around every bend, yet my trust in Jesus has not wavered. He has been doing many wonderful things in my life as a result and I can honestly say this is the greatest experience I have ever had.
So precious to me is my relationship with my Lord! It is truly sweeter than it has ever been before. He has been changing me and conforming me to his own image, He has answered my prayers, He has listened to me and comforted me, He has taught me His ways. He has done all of this and He continues to do these things. I see His hand on my life every day. Every moment. He has given me joy, humility, discernment, and a greater hunger for His Word. I love what He is teaching me and would like to share some of those things with all of you.
I have learned to be thankful for my mother. I know that sounds silly, but moms are so underrated. How often have you taken yours for granted? God has helped me to realize just how important my relationship with my mom is and He has taught me to appreciate her. Honestly, I have no clue how I could have gotten through some of the hardships of the past weeks without her guidance and encouragement. My gratitude for the parents God gave me cannot possibly be expressed by mere words. I know my weaknesses. I know what kind of life I would be living without my godly upbringing. I could have been born to anyone, but of all the couples in the world, the Lord chose to give me to Todd and Michelle Allen. Wow.
I have also learned to pray. Really pray. Here's another excerpt from my journal...
"I want to be a prayer warrior. There are battles to be fought and I want to fight them. I see needs every day. Countless people who need healing, encouragement, comfort, strength, hope, courage, mercy, salvation. Why am I not speaking to my Father daily on their behalf? I have never been very faithful in praying for people. Or praying at all. This is unacceptable. I wonder how many blessings I have missed by neglecting to pray. How many blessings have others missed?"
Think about that last question for a minute before you continue reading.
The final lesson I want to share with you is this: I have learned to wait. Waiting is probably the most difficult thing God asks us to do. It is so easy to get frustrated and try to write my story myself. But I know I can trust Him. I know that at the right time, at the right place, and in the right way, God will bring me to the right man. When I focus on serving the Lord with my whole heart, He becomes my love and it is so much easier to wait when I am holding His hand. He has this. I trust Him.
I hope these things have encouraged you today. My prayer is that God will use my life to bring Him honor and to be a blessing to others. He has great things in store for you, you know. A close walk with Him is the most important thing you can develop before marriage. Spend some time with Him and allow Him to teach you. Put all of your plans and goals off to the side for a little while and just sit in His presence. Learn to be thankful for His gifts. Learn to pray for His people. Learn to wait for His timing. If you seek Him with your whole heart, He will reveal Himself to you.
I know He will.
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