Stepping Out

I did not have much time to pull my thoughts together this past week. Caring for my family on a tour to Pennsylvania while my mother stays in Michigan with my invalid brother (read that story here) is not conducive to writing. And so, this is not my usual write, edit seventy times, read, reread, edit again blog post. I actually did not know what to even write about until two sentences ago. This should be interesting...

Blogging really is not my "thing". My mother can attest to the fact that I have always hated any writing that I "had" to do. School assignments requiring an essay or short story were ridiculously drawn out, emotional experiences. There were always tears, crumpled papers, and the occasional broken pencil involved. Which begs the question, why start a blog where I am required to write something every week? I promise this was NOT my idea. I am scared of writing anything that other people will read. Journaling, fine. I can write in my journal all day long, but the blog is a different story.

Back in April of 2012, I was talking to a friend of mine and we somehow ended up on the subject of my beliefs about purity, modesty, courtship, marriage, and womanhood. He asked lots of questions, but he was not like most people I talk to who want to make me change my mind. He was genuinely interested in my opinions and apparently was impressed with what I had to say because he said, "You should speak at conferences about this stuff!" The idea seemed so absurd to me, I had to laugh. You see, even greater than my fear of writing is my fear of public speaking. Yeah. I know. Anyway, the next week, all I could think about was our conversation and what my friend had said. But speaking in front of a large group of people was NOT going to happen. Then it hit me. A blog! That idea was almost as crazy as the first though. Me? Blog? Obviously, this was not my idea at all. It was God's. He did not say anything to me verbally, mind you, but I could sense that this was His doing. I thought it over some and decided to go for it, although I was not particularly excited about the prospect. I immediately began reading several books on the subjects I would be writing about. I said I needed to be prepared. Which is good. One should be sufficiently prepared when undertaking a task such as this. But that was not why I did it. I read and studied for nearly a year before I realized that I was only putting off what I had been told to do.

Have you ever done something like that?

I tend to do things slowly and sometimes procrastinate, but avoiding something for a year was pathetic. Finally, I threw my comfort out the window and began writing. Now here I am, four months later, still not sure what I am doing and trying to figure out the internet (I am not today's typical young person). With the Lord's help, I will remain here until He tells me otherwise. And, you know, I am actually enjoying this!

So I suppose my point is that when the Lord puts it on your heart to do something, just step out and go for it. I wonder what blessings I might have missed by not starting this blog sooner. So what if the task you were told to accomplish is something you are not good at or comfortable with? Check out this verse:

And He said unto me, My grace is sufficient for thee: for My strength is made perfect in weakness. Most gladly therefore will I rather glory in my infirmities, that the power of Christ may rest upon me.

This has become my theme verse this year. (And I often quote it over and over when I do a concert in poor voice.) I am a real perfectionist, but it seems like when I am weakest, He uses me to bless people in the most powerful way. And so I trust Him to do that with this blog.

Well then. I am no longer in a panic as I see I have quite a few words typed up for all of you to read. Whether you will appreciate them or not is entirely up to you.

How To Love

How is one to define love? Many say it is a feeling, intense and passionate affection, desire, euphoria, but I believe it is much more than that. Feelings are just so volatile. Erratic. Fickle. So then what is love? The Bible says God is love. I took some of the things I know about God and used that information to define love. This is what I ended up with: Love is steady, unchanging, and constant. Love is forever. Love is unconditional selflessness.

Now, with this in mind, let us look at how we can love our future husbands- right now. At this point, some of you are thinking, "But I don't even know the man yet". Well, guess what. You do not have to know your prince in order to love him. Sure you will love him when you know him, but by choosing to love him now, your love when you marry will be so much sweeter.

"Gabrielle, how am I supposed to love someone I have never met?" Good question. Here is the answer: You love him by the choices you make. You love him by considering how your choices will affect him. It is simple really. Just think before you make any decision where relationships with guys are concerned. Like this....an acquaintance of mine asked me out on a date. I said no. And this is why: while it probably would have been fun and we could have had a great time together, I knew I could never marry him. He was not "the one" and I did not need to go on a date with him in order to figure that out. See, I may not know who my future husband is, but I know enough about him to know who he is not. I loved my man in that situation by giving up my own pleasure for him. Unconditional selflessness. He is worth it to me and I want our marriage to be as special as I can possibly make it.

Every decision I make as a single woman will affect my future as a married woman and little things really do matter!

The last thing I want to bring into marriage is a broken, scarred, and soiled heart with memories of mistakes that will forever haunt me. My desire is to give my man a pure and spotless heart that has been reserved for him alone. Will you do the same? Choose to save your heart for one man. Act in such a way that will make him proud. Remember him when you make decisions that will affect both of you. Respect him, honor him, love him right now.

Love him today.

Truly Content

I'm back!! Yeah, I know. I have been really terrible about this whole blogging thing. From now on, I will be posting every Tuesday (or at least making a valiant attempt to).  So enjoy the new post and come back every week for more. Thanks for reading!

"Last night, I dreamt I was a mother. I held my precious little son in my arms and felt inexpressible joy as he called me 'mama' for the very first time. Waiting just became that much harder."

I wrote those words in my journal earlier this year. Needless to say, that was a tough week to get through. Sometimes, being single just seems so unfair. The difficulties never go away, but rather increase. Almost every one of my friends is engaged or married and now many of them are having children. I want so badly to join them in their happiness, but somehow, singleness makes me an outsider.

Will it ever be me?

It often seems as though I have nothing in common with anyone anymore and the only way out of my world of unhappiness is marriage- a blessing I do not see coming in the near future. Discontentment is very difficult to fight these days. It is my constant enemy.....well, it is supposed to be my enemy. Honestly, it is easier to just be friends, companions walking through life together. Problem is, discontentment is a lousy friend. It causes me to lose my joy, to forget my ministry, and to make those around me unhappy. Fighting it is challenging, but the consequences of surrender are detrimental.

How does one achieve victory over discontentment?

 I do not know if a person can ever have total triumph over it here in this world. The little fiend never gives up easily and it puts up a good fight. Sometimes, I think I have defeated it, but then it always comes back. There is an almost daily battle and I must constantly be on my guard against attack. But I do know how to win. First, let me give you a couple of definitions...

Discontentment: A longing for something better than the present situation.

Contentment: Happiness with one's situation in life.

When we are discontent, we desire something "better", and we think that once we obtain it, we shall be content. But it does not work that way. Discontentedness can only give birth to more of the same. In other words, you will always want something "better" than what you have. It will never be enough. It is true that you reap what you sow, and if seeds of discontent are being sown in your heart, that is what you will get at harvest time- and more of it too, because that little seed grows into something bigger and uglier. Many times, we fail to see that while we are waiting for what we think is best, God has already put us in the best place. And our disdain for the situation we are in has caused us to miss the Lord's blessings. I am as guilty as anyone. But how can we be happy with where we are? How can we be truly content?

Trust.

Just trust Him and know that His ways are higher than your own (Isaiah 55:9). He has you in a good place right now and the best thing for you to do is serve Him with your whole heart and leave no room for anything else to come in and poison you. Reach out to others, take no thought for yourself, give much, love strong, and live for a bigger purpose than your own agenda. See the good in your situation and use every opportunity you have been given to glorify God. I think you will soon find that your longings have left you and the Lord has given you not only happiness with where you are, but a lasting joy as well.

You and I are in this together.