This week I want to tell you about a woman who has inspired me in many ways. A woman I am privileged to have as my "big sister".
Before Steffanie married my brother, Caleb, last year, she told a dear friend of ours that she wanted to start having children right away. This well meaning friend told her that she needed to wait and they should get to know each other better and have fun for a year or two first. Many people hold this opinion and I personally find it disgusting. How sick to think of children as a burden. How ridiculous to think they would rob you of your joy in marriage. Steffanie has had an earful of negative, degrading comments in regards to her desire for children. I have to say, I am very proud of her for ignoring them all and holding to her convictions. She and Caleb married last October and had twin boys in July. She continues to hear the rude, sarcastic remarks from people who either think they are being funny or just have absolutely no clue what a wonderful gift God has given to her. And she answers them all politely and with a smile. Wow. Oh, that I could have a sweet spirit like that.
Watching her care for her children in her new role as a mother has been so much fun. Her ability to care for her entire family all at once is nothing short of impressive. I have seen her hold both boys, drink from a cup, and rub her husband's back at the same time! You would have to see it to believe it. There are many things that she no longer has time for, like doing her hair or cooking fancy meals, but she takes care of what is most important. Caleb and the boys are her priority and that is how it should be.
But as busy as she is with her new family, she always has time for me. Those quiet times when she could be doing something for herself for once, she comes to me and offers encouragement and companionship- both of which I really need right now. She has a heart for people and I love to see it. This woman always seems to know what to say and when to say it or even when nothing needs to be said at all. What blesses me the most is that she doesn't just have compassion for me when I am hurting, she cries with me. How beautiful it is to see Jesus in her!
She is such a wonderful example of what a wife and mother should be. I believe it is because of her relationship with the Lord. When her family toured with us last week, she and Caleb asked if we could watch the boys so they could have Bible study together. Not a romantic date. They wanted time in the Word. Romance in marriage is important, but seeking the Lord together is paramount. If only more people understood that. I am so glad to see Steffanie and Caleb setting this example for so many young people. They are not afraid of censure. They simply obey God and He has blessed them with a happy home.
Steffanie is a great role model for any young lady. I don't know about you, but when I grow up, I want to be just like her.
Tuesday, November 19, 2013
Tuesday, November 12, 2013
The Duty of a Daughter
This week, God has taught me more about what my relationship with my father should look like. Daddy and I have always gotten along really well. I do not remember ever having an argument with him or being mad at him. Ever. I have loved him, respected him, admired him, and looked up to him for over two decades. However, I do not confide in him the way I should. I do not always seek his counsel and approval. I have not been his prayer warrior. I have not made serving him and helping him my priority. Though I live under his protection and authority and I support him in his ministry, I have not fully embraced my role as his daughter. I have not made an effort to submit my will to him. I have not fully given him my heart.
But I want to.
My parents raised me in such a way that all of these ideas are natural to me, but up until now, I had not made them my own, deliberate decisions. I know that my life's purpose does not begin at marriage. I am preparing diligently for marriage, but I have a duty to perform right now, while I am yet single. My calling is to be my father's helper. My purpose is to help him fulfill his calling.
Sounds like great practice for marriage, doesn't it? God designed the father/daughter relationship this way for a reason. A woman is not supposed to be independent; she is to be always dependent on a man. While she is single, this man is her father. And her father will one day transfer his authority over her to the man she will call husband. What a beautiful, natural transition!
So many women go through unnecessary struggle because they are living out their single years as independent individuals and then they marry and have to learn submission and respect. Submitting to a man is very difficult for a person who has never done it before. Years of ministry are wasted because women have not already learned how to be wives. They are obstacles to their husbands, hindering them and holding them back from all God has for them. This can be avoided simply by realizing that we were never meant to be self-reliant, self-sufficient females. In the very beginning, God created woman for man. She is his helper. It is her purpose.
This is not meant to be a drudgery. Contrary to what many people believe, living out God's design brings unimaginable joy. I am sure it breaks His heart to watch us ignore His plan and try to live out our own. If only people could see what they are missing! My prayer for each of you is that you will embrace His purpose for your life and encourage others to do the same. And may your joy in doing this be sweet. As mine is.
But I want to.
My parents raised me in such a way that all of these ideas are natural to me, but up until now, I had not made them my own, deliberate decisions. I know that my life's purpose does not begin at marriage. I am preparing diligently for marriage, but I have a duty to perform right now, while I am yet single. My calling is to be my father's helper. My purpose is to help him fulfill his calling.
Sounds like great practice for marriage, doesn't it? God designed the father/daughter relationship this way for a reason. A woman is not supposed to be independent; she is to be always dependent on a man. While she is single, this man is her father. And her father will one day transfer his authority over her to the man she will call husband. What a beautiful, natural transition!
So many women go through unnecessary struggle because they are living out their single years as independent individuals and then they marry and have to learn submission and respect. Submitting to a man is very difficult for a person who has never done it before. Years of ministry are wasted because women have not already learned how to be wives. They are obstacles to their husbands, hindering them and holding them back from all God has for them. This can be avoided simply by realizing that we were never meant to be self-reliant, self-sufficient females. In the very beginning, God created woman for man. She is his helper. It is her purpose.
This is not meant to be a drudgery. Contrary to what many people believe, living out God's design brings unimaginable joy. I am sure it breaks His heart to watch us ignore His plan and try to live out our own. If only people could see what they are missing! My prayer for each of you is that you will embrace His purpose for your life and encourage others to do the same. And may your joy in doing this be sweet. As mine is.
Tuesday, November 5, 2013
Choices
I have been getting some complaints because I did not post last week. My apologies. You see, last Tuesday, I was taking care of my nephews. Definitely my best excuse so far! Never fear, I shall now return to my "normal" schedule. Thank you for listening.
As singles, we tend to live a little selfishly. Even being the oldest sibling at home and caring for the little ones every day, the choices I make are still selfish ones. The way we use our free time, the way we spend our money, and the way we treat our bodies are all decisions that, for the most part, affect only us.
While money spending is not a problem for me, I do have selfish tendencies in other areas. I watch a lot of movies and spend an exorbitant amount of time exploring Pinterest. I also eat more cookies than are necessary (yes, cookies are necessary) and put too much butter on everything. I have my own agenda and often choose to do things my way without paying any attention to anyone else. I am a single woman and, although I still live under my father's roof where I am supposed to be, I tend to live a little independently. But I have heard for many years and have observed for myself that when independent single people enter marriage, life becomes about somebody other than themselves. Suddenly, every decision made has an effect on their spouses and children. And they live differently.
God has taught me much over the past two months, primarily on the subject of preparing for marriage. There have been some interesting lessons and one in particular I would like to share here. I propose to you the idea that the choices we make as singles already affect our future spouses and children. This concept has changed my life. Here's how...
1) The way I use my free time.
There is nothing wrong with the things I used to do in my free time. I actually still do those things on occasion. But I realize that this time can be better spent and so I now use it to study and learn things that will benefit my future family. For example, I am currently studying herbal remedies so I will be properly equipped to care for the health of my family. I aim to be familiar with a wide variety of subjects so as to be able to teach my children well. There is so much information available to me and I feel it would be unwise to ignore it all. Knowledge is such a wonderful thing and my free time can be spent pursuing it with the intent of being useful to my family.
2) The way I spend my money.
I have already said that this area is not a problem for me. I rarely buy anything for myself and when I do, I make sure I am getting the best deal possible. The only reason I go shopping at all is to be with friends and I hate making any shopping expedition by myself. But I think it would be a good practice to learn how to make money go further when buying groceries for a family. My mother has taught me a lot about this and I think I do a pretty good job of it, but there is always room for improvement.
3) The way I treat my body.
This area is the one that has changed me the most. A few years ago, I was very sick and unable to be active at all. Ever since then, I have not been in very good shape, physically. Sometimes, I would make an effort to exercise regularly, but it never became a habit (it really is a difficult thing to accomplish when you live on a bus). And as far as eating habits go, I pretty much just eat what I want. My parents raised a bunch of healthy eaters and we all love our veggies, but my problem is an insatiable sweet tooth. I recently came face to face with the fact that these kinds of choices could hurt my future children. My body is where they will spend the first months of their lives and I am now determined to create a safe and healthy environment for them. And not only that, but as a mommy I need to be in better shape to carry those kiddos around everywhere (I learned this while caring for my nephews last week). I find it is much easier to get out and exercise and even to say no to the extra cookies when I think of my future babies.
So...what new decisions can you make to prepare for your future family?
As singles, we tend to live a little selfishly. Even being the oldest sibling at home and caring for the little ones every day, the choices I make are still selfish ones. The way we use our free time, the way we spend our money, and the way we treat our bodies are all decisions that, for the most part, affect only us.
While money spending is not a problem for me, I do have selfish tendencies in other areas. I watch a lot of movies and spend an exorbitant amount of time exploring Pinterest. I also eat more cookies than are necessary (yes, cookies are necessary) and put too much butter on everything. I have my own agenda and often choose to do things my way without paying any attention to anyone else. I am a single woman and, although I still live under my father's roof where I am supposed to be, I tend to live a little independently. But I have heard for many years and have observed for myself that when independent single people enter marriage, life becomes about somebody other than themselves. Suddenly, every decision made has an effect on their spouses and children. And they live differently.
God has taught me much over the past two months, primarily on the subject of preparing for marriage. There have been some interesting lessons and one in particular I would like to share here. I propose to you the idea that the choices we make as singles already affect our future spouses and children. This concept has changed my life. Here's how...
1) The way I use my free time.
There is nothing wrong with the things I used to do in my free time. I actually still do those things on occasion. But I realize that this time can be better spent and so I now use it to study and learn things that will benefit my future family. For example, I am currently studying herbal remedies so I will be properly equipped to care for the health of my family. I aim to be familiar with a wide variety of subjects so as to be able to teach my children well. There is so much information available to me and I feel it would be unwise to ignore it all. Knowledge is such a wonderful thing and my free time can be spent pursuing it with the intent of being useful to my family.
2) The way I spend my money.
I have already said that this area is not a problem for me. I rarely buy anything for myself and when I do, I make sure I am getting the best deal possible. The only reason I go shopping at all is to be with friends and I hate making any shopping expedition by myself. But I think it would be a good practice to learn how to make money go further when buying groceries for a family. My mother has taught me a lot about this and I think I do a pretty good job of it, but there is always room for improvement.
3) The way I treat my body.
This area is the one that has changed me the most. A few years ago, I was very sick and unable to be active at all. Ever since then, I have not been in very good shape, physically. Sometimes, I would make an effort to exercise regularly, but it never became a habit (it really is a difficult thing to accomplish when you live on a bus). And as far as eating habits go, I pretty much just eat what I want. My parents raised a bunch of healthy eaters and we all love our veggies, but my problem is an insatiable sweet tooth. I recently came face to face with the fact that these kinds of choices could hurt my future children. My body is where they will spend the first months of their lives and I am now determined to create a safe and healthy environment for them. And not only that, but as a mommy I need to be in better shape to carry those kiddos around everywhere (I learned this while caring for my nephews last week). I find it is much easier to get out and exercise and even to say no to the extra cookies when I think of my future babies.
So...what new decisions can you make to prepare for your future family?
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