Sometimes, I keep things inside for so long, it all just builds until I get emotional and finally have to let it out. I took a nice long walk with Jesus last week so I could tell Him everything. I did not realize how much I missed doing that with Him; how much I needed to.
The past four months have been full of adventure, excitement, difficulty, confusion, heartache, and a variety of complex emotions. You seriously have no idea. The wonderful thing about it is, all of it has brought me closer to the Lord; and because of that, I would not trade one moment.
Our conversation that day was mostly one-sided as I poured everything out, trying to put all the pieces together and make my sentences coherent. He understood. I told Him of my struggle with keeping my thoughts where they should be and holding back my wild imagination. He listened as I described my feelings and...my concern. For four, long months, I have hoped for something without reason. My heart has yearned for it. All this time, I have tried to focus every bit of my nervous energy on pursuing a closer relationship with my Lord- and it has worked. I long to know His will and I recognize that the only way I can discern it is to immerse myself in His Word and walk with Him. But there was something bothering me...
"Lord, what if the things I am hoping for never come to pass? What if I am hanging on to something and it's all wrong? I just don't want to place my hope in something that isn't going to happen."
And then my heart heard it. Words that sang in the deepest part of my being. He was there. After all my speaking was done, He simply said, "Hope in Me."
wonderful post-thankyou for this!
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